Little Successes Still Make Me Smile

I reached my first weight-loss goal and it only took a month. I lost one kilogram! I actually made some progress this week in particular. I decided to up my caloric intake. I know what you are thinking why increase your calories if you weren’t losing? I wasn’t really monitoring my calories to start just my portions and well the food itself. I have cut down a lot on sweets and am cooking a lot more, consuming less takeaways etc. add that to the increase in exercise and I figure the sudden change in my diet from what was probably something like 2700 calories to 1500 calories might have paralyzed my metabolism. We will see if the increase helps me out next week as well or if today was just a fluke. No I didn’t add back the unhealthy stuff I am just being more reasonable with my potions sizes. Sam has lost 5 or 6 kgs in 6 weeks. He is not following the same routine and is doing very light exercise a few minutes a day and has cut down sweets and takeaways. He has lost so many inches from his waistline. I have lost some off my waist/arms as well but nothing at all from my thighs.

I also finished Body Rock TV’s 30 Day Real Time Challenge (HIIT routines that sometimes exceed an hour) and let me tell you it was hard particularly for me as I have a weak upper body. I had tried this challenge several times but was never able to complete it I always had to start over due to sickness, injury, or because I simply wasn’t strong enough to level up. I am very proud of myself. I was never able to do all of the pushups in full plank (forget the one handed pushups lol) but I certainly decreased the time I spent doing them on my knees. I have just started a new challenge and look forward to comparing the results.

On another note I keep injuring my wrist and no surprisingly not from all the pushups. When I sleep I tuck my hands inward like a cat (twisting them in grievous ways, configurations you would never ever assume when awake) and then to add insult to injury I put weight on them! It is a terrible habit that has resulted in overstretched ligaments and months of pain (which is part of the reason I can’t stay in full plank and do my pushups). I think I am going to have to sleep in a wrist brace to prevent further injury. I try to catch myself in the act but that has only ruined my sleep, I guess in an effort to take the pressure off the nerves in my shoulders (I have shoulder impingement syndrome which is helped by building strength/increasing flexibility) I have started to do strange things during the night with the rest of my body. I can’t sleep on my back because it causes my hands to burn and go numb. Maybe I need to be in a full body brace during the night as so many of my worst injuries occur then. I swear sometimes I wake up feeling like I have been run over with a car. 


If you want to try the challenge yourself here is the first video




New Years Resolutions



I line them up like toy soldiers

They hasten to the rule of three

Polishing themselves

Until shoulderless heads

Incapable of bearing mishap


Every year I undergo the agonizing process of phrenic and spiritual demolition by which I attempt to remake myself into a more manageable and deserving character. Rather then discard a bad habit, I reject the self responsible for indulging in said habit. I never learn from my mistakes because I am either dead or in the process of dying. A resolution to shed 5 pounds quickly escalates into a resolution to tackle every issue I have surrounding food simultaneously. If I am not perfect I am simply not good enough. If I am lucky I manage to catch up to the self of the previous year but I never achieve lasting success with my resolutions as they are always borne from self-hatred. This year I vow to start from where I am. To work with my current self as opposed to some lofty and capricious construct of self. The last thing I need is another ego to feed. I vow to break my goals down into manageable steps and take those steps one at a time.


A vast majority of my goals are metaphysical in nature. I’ve found such goals to be completely unachievable in the absence of action because on their own they lack structure and coherency. What is happiness precisely? So far thinking myself healthy has been largely ineffective. What I need are concrete goals that will allow me to actualize my higher spiritual self. My goals this year are more task-oriented. Do A and B to get to C. As opposed to reinvent the alphabet. I keep doggedly trying to repair what isn’t broken. Each day I will write a list with a few tasks to tackle rather than sit about waiting for spontaneous mastery.