Cold, Spring Fever, and Haircuts

Head Cocked

I have a cold. I am not the only one though both Sam and Isadora have colds as well. The last few days I have been sticking to yoga-type workouts. I have also been taking naps! Usually I don’t nap because it ruins my sleep. I have been sleeping heavily both during my naps and at night and I am still feeling exhausted! The cold part of the cold hasn’t been so bad actually very minimal congestion and runnage. It is mostly extreme fatigue, fever (very persistent), and body pain. For me the body pain is in the hips down to the knees and the thoracic spine. For Sam it seems to be all over particularly in the neck. His cold started with a migraine. Isadora’s also started with a headache. She doesn’t seem to have body pain though and has more congestion/leakage (not much fever either). I have had tension in my head but nothing I would call a headache. I am also ravenously hungry, for some reason whenever I get sick my body wants to gorge.

If spring fever is what I think it might be then I also have that (I have had it for several weeks now). I am so restless. I am itching for warm, sunny days. I am not really enjoying my usual hobbies or maybe it is more accurate to say that I can’t focus on them long enough to enjoy them. I have been reading A LOT because of the commute to work and the long wait for the bus. My eyes are exhausted as a result. That coupled with my desperation for the great outdoors has made writing very challenging. I have been meditating though, also pretty unfocused but I have managed some successful visualizations. I am working on building an internal sanctuary.

Oh and I got hair cut to shoulder length! Yes I finally got it cut. I am not sure how I felt about the actual hairdresser, there was no connection and there were some issues with communication. She also seemed uneasy about working with my hair (I am looking for someone who is confident and can offer suggestions.). I came in with a lot of hair. My hair was waist-length. Sam made the appointment for me using a phone app. The result, she was rushed on time because the standard slot was not sufficient. When I was there she answered the phone (I gathered that someone was trying to book an appointment) and she asked them with this really desperate voice while glancing over at me “Do you have super long, extremely thick hair?” I feel pretty bad about it because I think if they had known about my hair previously they would have given me a longer time slot. She thinned my hair so it wouldn’t be so big but it is still big. She didn’t have time to dry it so she never got to see the finished product so to speak.

I forgot how hysterically curly my hair can be when short but I appreciate the liveliness of having curls. My head definitely feels lighter and it so much better lying down without that knot at the base of my head from the ponytail I had to wear all the time. I was wearing my hair up most of the time when it was long because otherwise it was getting in the way too much (I couldn’t exercise, eat, work, or even ride on the bus because it would get caught in other people’s things). I even slept with it because my hair was reaching out and suffocating Sam during the night. I can still put it in a ponytail, it is short and chunky haha I wouldn’t say there is a lot of style to the cut though and I was hoping for a bit of style. I am pretty happy about having went through with it though because man I needed it. I am hoping the breakage will grow out better now. Long hair can be very beautiful but I just wasn’t managing it very well. I don’t really look older or younger!

October 5 2013

sleeping_woman-wallpaper-1024x768

With every gainless collapse

The wrinkles

In both brow and linen deepen

I pray that I will arrive

Rested under the auspices

Of a whimsical moon

*

My dreams are too heavy

They do not exorcise

My demons but bring

Instead new infernos

To which my feverish mind

Must arduously conform

*

The sun is cruel

She rises later each day

That each morning

I am obliged to alight

In darkness

The shadows would hold me

Awhile yet but always

I must wake at 6 am

=

Lately I have been falling asleep instantaneously, I am sleeping through the night, my sleep in heavy but it is not productive. I wake up completely exhausted more exhausted then I was the previous day. The days are growing darker which results inevitably in fatigue and a depressed mood but I can’t understand why I have begun this process so early. October has only just started how on earth will I survive 6 months of winter? I also have a reoccurring fever and eye bags. I have never had eye bags before. I realize my journal is early but I can’t imagine I will do much today when I have a fever, I feel like a zombie, and the weather is miserable. Sam went kayaking today with a friend from work. He has never been kayaking and he is afraid of water so I really hope he enjoys himself.