To Hyperventilate or Breathe

My day the boring unabridged version

6:00 Am Wake


Flapping aka posture exercises I do these in the morning and in the evening. It might look silly but they have really helped me!


Prepare Breakfast

Wake Isadora so we can eat breakfast together

Clean up

Brush my Teeth (which takes me a really long time people! I don’t know why)

Brush Isadora’s hair/Brush my hair

Vacuum house as needed

Get everyone’s clothes ready for the next day (yes I pick out everyone’s clothes)

Clean my bedroom (which was today’s task)

Send Isadora off to school


Check Email

Get ready

Walk to bus stop

8:05 bus arrives

Wrote a poem on the bus

8:30-11:30 ish (shorter today)

Class (I found out class actually starts at 8:00 though my paper says 8:30, I couldn’t have started earlier if I’d wanted though because I can’t leave Izzy home alone)

I spoke to the teacher and I can start at 8:30

I can also go to therapy every other Friday as intended and strangely it doesn’t effect my pay because therapy is considered something I need to do in order to be functional I suppose

Class itself was a bit overwhelming as everyone is Swedish and I am the only one with a language handicap. We had to fill out a lot of paperwork as well, if you could have a disability in paperwork I would have because honestly I am TERRIBLE at paperwork.

We had to interview another student and introduce them.

The teacher told me I can leave class if I feel panicked or anything and sit by myself so he seems to be very understanding

I had to pee every 20-30 minutes and I don’t mean like just the urge, like I seriously had to go that is what happens when I am nervous

I was starving the whole time apparently oatmeal is useless

I do not know so much about the content of the course yet or if I will even be able to do the work at my current level of Swedish. I am also concerned that there might be a lot of homework involved much more than I had anticipated, like several hours a day worth.

I talked to Sam during a break he was freaking out thinking he had to leave work and get Isadora because he was afraid there was a misunderstanding with daycare when I had Isadora swing by and request the forms. Luckily we left early today so I was able to go and he didn’t have to rush home.

I can’t remember when exactly I got on the bus but I was stuffing a sandwich ferociously into my mouth while waiting. I finished my sandwiches on the bus. I am still hungry, stress?

I arrived home tore off my clothes and put on my gym clothes

Did P90X X-Stretch as it was my rest/recovery day.

Threw on my clothes rushed off to get Isadora

Nearly did a complete mid air flip when I slipped on some mud in my backyard

Got Isadora went to daycare to clear up the misunderstanding that they did not appear to be having and filled out some forms (which I was walked through like a small child) so Isadora will be able to go to daycare tomorrow and I don’t have to freak out about that anymore

Then I realized I did not have my house keys! Could not find them, though I had locked up on leaving. Discover them by the mud that nearly took my life.

Arrive home Isadora is already off to play with the neighbor

Clean up after my workout

Prepare my poem for tomorrow’s posting

Read responses to the prompts I host

Took a shower

Wrote this post “breathe”

Today isn’t over yet

Oh also my caseworker contacted my about an auto shop looking for a cleaner. My stepdad was a mechanic and I cleaned his shop but it is not my ideal cleaning environment. She has set up an internship. Course and internship? Is the internship just the one day of cleaning? She said she would be cleaning with me which is a little funny somehow. I am, however, confused at how many things I am meant to be doing at the same time.


6 responses

  1. Well it’s definitely a long and crazy day – but if you can find some calm and peace in a new routine …. then that’s not so bad. and I’m really glad that you are able to have flexibility in the training and not having to give up key things, like therapy. As for the slip in the mud …. crazy how something so common has the ability to literally sweep us off our feet … happens to me more times than I care to admit …. and often, it’s a sign to me to slow the hell down and pay attention 😉

      • understandable …. just take it one step at a time …. and the fact that it may seem crazy to you, you know, when you are preparing at home and setting things out etc. may actually be thought of not as “I have to and this is adding to my stress” – but rather as a moment of “breath before I have to embark on my journey to my training” … if you can swing it …. it can be hard to find some perspective when it’s such a huge and big change …. so sending you hugs and good thoughts …. you can adapt and get through this …. and since there is flexibility afforded to you, this helps.

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