Zero to Hero Day 20

angelstone

Today’s assignment was to add a new page to your blog which I have not done as you can see. When I finish with my first book I will add a new page for the book and any subsequent books I publish.

*

A huge portion of my life I have spent wrestling with the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” When I first began work with Vocational Rehabilitation for my disabilities it was not known that I had Epilepsy. At the age of 19 I was told that I couldn’t become anything when I grew up. I had no chance of graduating from college and as for gaining employment I could forget about it. I refused to accept their assessment. I went to college and though it took me a full 10 years to get my BA I managed and with a good GPA besides. Finding a job proved more difficult. Even though it is illegal, potential employers, do discriminate against persons with disabilities and without a lawyer or disability advocate they will not hire you. My mom had to pull some major strings just to get me a job at Burger King which I was younger. Yes I’ve even been rejected work in the fast food industry!

*

At this point I feel the only way for me to have a meaningful career is to work for myself. If a job does not exist then I have to create one. So I will become a writer. Writing is my passion, my love, my life. My books may not sell but I won’t know unless I try. I am also going to attempt to get on Disability. Sam was on Disability for a short time for Depression and he was given rehabilitative employment positions and though the pay was miniscule it gave him the chance to prove himself to prospective employers. He did prove himself and now he has a great job and receives full pay. I want my chance.

*

I cannot say what the case will be in my situation. I am not sure if I am eligible for assistance. Yes I have uncontrolled Epilepsy and yes I suffer with mental illness and learning disabilities but I do not know if that is enough. Sam had a job, albeit a terrible one, before getting on Disability whereas I have been unable to procure employment since we moved here. I am loath to admit weakness of this sort, I try my best to tough it out, suck it up but suffice to say I am not coping even in a remedial sense.

*

I don’t mean to be so gloomy but I am just so disappointed. Devastated, I am just so devastated.  Sam and I can’t get a loan because we live on one income. The only way for us to get a loan, if I can’t get on Disability/find employment, is to earn 15% but we can’t save up that sort of money on only one income. A tiny rental place is nearly on par with the monthly fees of a house! I am overwhelmed and utterly crushed. I hold myself responsible for this situation. I am responsible for this situation there is no denying it and I have to find some way to get us out of it. I am entering into my seizure cycle at the moment which is just fabulous (sarcasm) because I have so much to get done.

Advertisements

10 responses

  1. I am so sad to hear this about jobs. But I do second you that you should never stop trying and never stop making your dreams become your job.
    I know that the times are hardly changing or, even worse, they are descending into an even bigger darkness regarding disabilities, jobs and writing. There is so many people taking it upon their right to define what is depression, what is a proper job, who deserves it and who doesn’t, what is writing, what is a good book and I can go on like this forever. But with whatever you do, it is going to be a standing, living proof that things can exist as they should be – free and devoid and filled with the purests lusts and yearnings and vibrant dreams.
    I wish to say that I will be more then glad to support you on every step of the way. Even tho we never met, I care for you deeply and since what I would want most is to be there for you in your house and hunt and create jobs with you together, the best I can do right now is take your book and show it everywhere, tell everyone and just be there for you electronicaly.

    • Your words are themselves extremely precious to me and your friendship absolutely irreplaceable. Thank you so much for your support because it is felt and the distance between us is only physical be assured

  2. I am sorry to hear the struggles that you and Sam are having financially, and of you unable to get employment because of your disabilities. If you live in the states, you absolutely do qualify for disability. The wait is 6 months, but once you are approved, your monthly disability amount will be retro from the time in which you applied. (You will get paid for that 6 months of wait). When your book is finished, I will be one of the first to purchase it and read it! All good wishes and hugs, sent your way. XO PJ

    • Thank you PJ I have no idea how it works in Sweden which is where I live now. My husband is Swedish but he lived in the States all through his early adult life with me so he isn’t familiar with everything either. I hope it isn’t overly complex like everything else

      • I have friends who write manuals for companies. There are a lot of writing jobs out there that can be done at home. All companies need manuals written. In healthcare, there is a huge need for writers of health literate materials. While it is not glamorous, it is writing and pays well. I write procedures and education materials as part of my job, and I love writing so much that even that is satisfying. have you thought of submitting your poems to magazines for pay?

  3. Oh, Sweetie! I was heartbroken to read all you have had to go through. I echo all that has been said here. We all love and support you. Any book you write will be promoted by us, I am quite sure!! I know I will be standing with the rest in line to buy it….and when my friends ask to borrow it, I will say “No way! Gotta pay!!” 😀 It will be worth every cent!!!

    Much love and many prayers for you, Yves!!! {{{Hugs}}}

  4. I could ramble on and on about how much I dislike it when people think they have the privilege to determine people’s worth over a disability. I was born with a birth defect called Spina bifida, and can easily relate to these circumstances. It’s not a joy ride when you’re being criticized or turned down by others for that reason. I know of at least a few people out there who are willing to reach out and help, and I hope that you can find those types of people as well. I have faith in you! =]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s