Zero to Hero Day 15

mirror-of-destiny

Today we were supposed to work on the appearance of our blog but to be honest I am quite satisfied with what I have at the moment.

I’ve been thinking about appearance and how it effects the way others perceive and interact with us.

What does your appearance say about you?

If I look at the way people in the real world relate with me it seems to say that I am innocent. When I come upon someone in the city at night they think nothing of me, indeed I am always met with a look of relief when they find I am the person approaching from behind. My innocent face seems to suggest to people that I am both innocuous and approachable. People start conversations with me and entrust me to watch their belongings. On the other hand my face is a beacon to predatory men. When I get hit on it’s rarely the normal chat up. I’ve had men ask me if I would come into the forest with them. Who starts a conversation “I want to show you something in the forest?” A rapist, ax murderer possibly.

In school it was always assumed that I was intelligent because I was quiet and I went to class. But for the most part I seem to have a deer in the headlights look that suggests helplessness and incompetence. People do help me when I am in need. The flip side of that coin is that people advance on me very forcibly because they believe I will not stand up for myself.

Aside from my innocent face I am curvaceous which means I have to take a lot of care in what I wear because I can go from looking nice to looking provocative very easily. There are a lot of clothes I absolutely cannot wear and because I developed quickly and I am a pervert magnet I don’t enjoy clothes as much as I might if I could dress more freely. I thought I might be able to pull off a nice conservative librarian look nope I look like the naughty librarian even with non revealing clothes. I almost always wear clothes that are too big which means I end up looking slovenly and unprofessional. It’s never easy to find that balance.

Sam is mixed raced though his features bare a greater resemblance to his Palestinian heritage. How do people treat him? Often with prejudice and fear, at least initially. After 9/11 he met with extreme prejudice and there were times I genuinely feared for his safety. His strong dark brows make him look angry whenever he’s in direct sunlight and people literally jump out of his way. Sam is in reality very laid back and slow to anger. Even when he does get angry he’s articulate and diplomatic and never given to violence. He is trustworthy and quick to help others. Once people get to know him that becomes readily apparent.

How do people perceive you initially?

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9 responses

  1. I have similar experiences to you. No matter what I wear, people always seem to see me as tho I am out to get laid. For this reason, I spent most of my life dressing like a man and concealing that I am a woman when walking down the street – thinking it will help the predatory comments, but it never worked.
    I am paranoid a lot, so when walking down the street, I have a very mean look in my eyes and people generaly avoid me. Most people find it hard to approach me first, because I have a strong attitude, I tend to speak loud and I am always honest and open. Men never approach me, they fear I’d eat them alive 🙂 I get close and personal with people very fast, I know right away do I like someone or not and there is no in between. If I like you, I will not be shy to hug you or laugh with you or invite you for tea or something. People often missunderstand this as a sign of sexual affection.
    Regarding clothes, I wear black, black and more black, in most of the cases. On rare ocassions, I wear purple or red. I really dont like and would never wear yellow or orange or pink and light blue. I also hate fashion, so I often look like a washing machine spit me out XD
    I guess what is most evident in my appearance is that I am strong, independent, organised and I am the one and only authority to boss me around – in reality, I am much more shy, reserved, freightened and craving care than people ever notice 🙂

    • I am shy especially about touchy feely stuff. I love black though I have gotten more colorful. I do wear reds and oranges because I have a naturally Bohemian appearance so it works. Light blue and yellow make me look sickly so I avoid them. Green makes me feel like a leprechaun because I am short with reddish hair and freckles so no thanks! I need to work on my confidence.

  2. You and I could be twins! I also have an innocent face and curvy body which has led me into 6 attempted assaults, all of which I escaped, but led me to believe that men were universally evil. After all, family members, best friends, a boyfriend’s father, none were strangers and all were very close to me. If the most trusted cannot be trusted how can one trust anyone? It is a struggle I have had my whole life. LOL, now that I am in my 40’s I think I am safe…..time does have some elements of good!

    • I know that all too well as I can think of very few instances where I was alone with a male who did not attempt something even men whom I genuinely trusted. I admit it has made me a lot more wary. I wonder if women and men can be good friends =(

      • I developed a NOSE a long time ago. They have a Manner that they cannot completely hide. If I sense that manner then I am very wary. Yes, I do think they can be friends if that manner and attraction are missing.

  3. It is a shame that women with nice figures have to dress to “downplay” them simply because of men’s reaction to them. That is the men’s problems – not yours. But I do understand why you would want to. After all, who wants to spend most of their time fending off sex-starved men. I would like to see you be proud of who you are without having to dress to make yourself part of the wall. You are a beautiful woman and should be able to be proud of it and, in fact, “strut it.” I suggest, dress “confidently” and come across as a “confident” woman and men will stay back and just admire (which is ok). What woman doesn’t want to be admired? Haha!

    As for me, I have never been a “curvy” woman. I never felt like I had a small enough waist to make me look curvaceous because my breasts were just “B’s”. I would say I was “shy” growing up but actually, I just had low self-esteem. I am still struggling with that self-esteem, but it is getting a little better. I don’t feel men ever wanted me because of my body, but I have a healthy fear of men because they have caused so much pain in my life; husband, boyfriends, bosses, pastor, doctors, and dentists.

    • To have confidence if only!

      I’ve only ever been interested in the nice guys the ones who care about my heart and are interested in my intellectually as well. Luckily aside from pervs I do attract intelligent guys and I’ve found myself a nice boy =) It was hard for me to trust men as well I have also had bad luck with male doctors but I did find myself one of the good ones and they are definitely out there

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