Day 4 Zero to Hero

DID

While many people find socialization easier online, my shyness remains an obstacle. Even commenting poses dilemmas as I worry that my Dyslexia might inadvertently negate an intended compliment. I find also myself reticent to engage in joint ventures and projects despite enthusiasm. Over the years it has become easier for me to participate in challenges and prompts provided the process of submission is strait-forward and the environs sufficiently welcoming. Contests, on the other hand, require a level of confidence I do not yet possess.

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Not long after joining WordPress I was invited to participate in a Poetry Share (which has since become inactive). Through that site I was able to connect with other bloggers for the first time. That initial invitation generated more invitations and before I knew it I was an active member of the blogging community! While opportunities presented themselves, despite a complete lack of awareness on my part, I did not become an overnight sensation (well technically I still haven’t become a sensation). Gathering members and eliciting feedback took a tremendous amount of effort. I can’t blame that entirely on my incompetence ultimately it was the content that was killing my blog. My poems were long, redundant, poorly edited, and filled with angst. My poems are still primarily dark but I believe I have improved on their presentation.

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Prior to blogging I hosted a role-playing site. Having had previous experience managing a group of writers and devising scenarios I decided to host a prompt at my personal site. To be honest I thought it would be a total flop. I wasn’t sure that I had enough followers or that my ideas would generate sufficient interest. While my prompt is small, it remains active.

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When I created the role-playing site I had hoped sincerely that everyone would play together but it didn’t turn out that way. As such I was often called on to play eight different characters simultaneously. As these characters could be seen by everyone in the group and as anyone could interact with them they all had to be completely different. I couldn’t cheat (not that I would have) by creating two good characters and switching up their histories and appearances, I had to create eight fully developed personas. Sometimes I had to create a character on the spot as roles would spring up that had to be filled immediately. We posted several times a day which gave me little time to prepare encase of emergency. As I was playing so many characters I felt at times like I was suffering from DID, each post required me to become someone else entirely. Needless to say it was intense. I loved it, it gave me the opportunity to explore the human psyche to a degree not even afforded most psychologists. Role-playing helped me to overcome some of my performance anxiety and managing a prompt is comparatively easy.

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As for posting my personal journal online? Having role-played villains for years my own diary is positively tame in comparison. Seriously though it breaks my heart when people believe themselves to be evil/irredeemable/less than/irreparable. Being something of a drive by confessional I have borne witness only to humanness. By posting my own journal I am making a public declaration that our emotions and thoughts are not themselves a sign of evil or latent criminality. I am owning my faults that others may know themselves as human, as beautiful, as intrinsically good.

I'm a Zero to Hero Blogger!

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14 responses

  1. How interesting to have a role playing blog. I can see how this would be intense for you, but it does sound exciting. I understand “shyness being an obstacle.” It is difficult for me to open up entirely on this World Wide Web.

  2. I love what you are doing with your blog (s) and your poetry and I really love the prompts and find them interesting (I just wish I always had more time to participate in them!!!!)
    Roleplaying is great, but I think I could never do it online. I used to observe a few games of D&D and it was one of the most fun events ever 🙂

    • The role-playing I did wasn’t like D&D. We made up scenarios and characters and wrote like stories together I am not sure what the term is specifically as most people refer to it as role-playing maybe group collaborative writing but everyone assumes a character or characters. I am completely incapable of making a header though, Sam made one for mindlovemisery once but as far as I am concerned he used magic to create it. I can’t make it work with paint or Gimp. It doesn’t make any sense waaaah sorry I am getting myself worked up. Thank you =)

      • I know how you feel, blog design tends to be so frustrating. I originaly started on a platform with much less fancy resources then WordPress, but tons of more possibilities. You could make everything yourself, but you would hardly get anything to work unless you pick up coding.
        I thankfully, fell in love with the theme I am using on first sight, and never really wanted to change the header.
        But I know Sam will make magic for you if you want to change it 😀

      • 😦
        I am looking at your blog front page right now, and it don’t even need a header to be awesome 😛
        What are you having problems with, putting it or making it?

      • Making it I have no idea at all. I am at the point where I think I need to draw it and scan it in lol I am doing this blog challenge and one day it asks to change the header since I knew that would be difficult I thought I should get a head start. I don’t plan on doing anything fancy. Just changing the font really

      • On the header I believe it is possible if you do the header as an image because Sam did and the font in my header was not the same as it was in my blog. I am not currently using that header just encase you are at my site thinking I’ve lost my mind. My problem is that I do not know how do it lol I know he used Gimp but Gimp has the one font Sans how did he get a different font? I really don’t know. I was watching him the whole time and I have no idea what happened

      • You know, while me and my husband were finishing the magazine, he was doing touch ups in InDesign with the speed of light and I was just sitting there, feeling like a monkey lol
        I find Gimp to be much harder then Photoshop to master, especially when you are doing it solo and with tutorials help :/ The biggest advantage to it is that it is free, while other programs you have to buy and their prices are ridiculous. The full Adobe suite costs 4 of my rents -_-

  3. It’s nice to hear someone else’s journey and triumphs in the online writing community. With the years of experience you have committed yourself, I can personally say that I think you are a fantastic writer! 🙂 I’m hoping that maybe I will get to that point someday with my own blog, but I have only just begun and still have plenty more to learn.

    I found my interest in writing when I discovered Fanfictions, though I have yet to try role-playing sites. They sound like they would be a lot of fun!

    • They are and I think you might really enjoy them if you enjoy fanfictions because many role-playing communities use anime/manga/movie/comic/television characters and scenarios. I have done so myself though I love the character creation part so much that I favor originals. Your blog is fabulous =)

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