For today’s challenge you will just have to take my word on it. The posts I am most proud of (on this blog) are my earlier diary style posts. It has been a long standing dream of mine to keep a journal, only I have never had the discipline to do so consistently. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever managed a full 7 days of diligent event keeping. My paper journals are filled with incomprehensible gibberish and a fair amount of whining, the ones I posted here had a much more poetical flavor and are closer to the journals I which I were capable of keeping. As for drafts I have plenty of them, currently I have 24 OpenOffice documents open and filled with scribbles. I also have a lot of drafts here at WordPress! I have very poor organizational skills.
I honestly can’t believe how much time has elapsed since I began this challenge! In my life there are so many unaccounted for lapses in my attention. Days coagulate as if the wounds of a virulent trauma. As I said before I currently have no desire to change the appearance of my blog. Could the appearance be improved or enhanced? Of course but I am happy with my blog as it stands now.
The same cannot be said of my own appearance! Winter has wreaked havoc on my skin. I have naturally dry skin thanks to a faulty thyroid and thanks to a very fair complexion I also have hypersensitive skin. Needless to say I am not aging well and the products designed to minimize aging are much too hard on my delicate skin. That is okay though because they are over-priced and I believe largely ineffective. In my mind it boils down to diet, protection, hydration and sleep. It isn’t actually very easy to get sunburned in Sweden the sun just doesn’t seem to have the same nuclear intensity that it possesses in North Carolina. Tomatoes are excellent sun protection if you didn’t know! Since I started eating them regularly I haven’t really gotten burned (once but only because I had stopped eating them for a spell). If only my mother had known that then I might have been spared. Back in the 80s there was more of a let your kid fry mentality. I got some nasty sunburns and as a result my skin is not the beautiful smooth alabaster that it once was. I don’t have sunspots or anything but I have some lines (way too many in my opinion). I never sunbathe, as much as people seem to hate pale skin, the threat of becoming a handbag is just too scary (since I have never had any sort of tan whatsoever I am assuming I would die of skin cancer well before that happened).
The problem in Sweden is the cold, dry weather. I have been itching like mad for months. Meanwhile Sam has skin so smooth it would make a Disney princess murderously envious. Why is his skin so soft? I think it has to do with the temperature at which I shower, which could very well cook a crustacean. I like my showers scalding bowels of hell hot. I am trying to ween myself to lukewarm =(
Today we were supposed to do another blog on events but as the event I chose is no longer available I decided to do a quiz.
Which of my paintings are you? Although I have more than 8 paintings I have chosen only 8 for the purpose of this quiz. This quiz is rather silly and one I made up perhaps 10 years ago. I did update it a bit. For example the names of book titles were changed. I am a truly awful painter but I enjoy it haha I did put some research into my results unfortunately the information on auras contradicts itself I literally could not find 2 pages that had corroborating information it was one contradiction after another. So I had to go with my own leanings.
Choose the lyrics most appealing to you
- “On the gathering storm comes a tall handsome man with a dusty black coat and a red right hand”
- “I’m in love with your confusion…on your knees…when you’re breathing through your elbows down on me”
- “Believe your truth is not my truth. God can exist with many faces at one time.”
- “Speak to me the language of love, the language of violence, the language of heart.”
- “Here is fruit for the crows to pluck, for the rain to gather, for the wind to suck, for the sun to rot, for the trees to drop, here is a strange and bitter crop.”
- “On the surface simplicity but the darkest pit in me…it’s pagan poetry…pagan poetry”
- “To the gypsy that remains, who faces freedom with a little fear, I have no fear, I have only love. And if I was a child, and the child was enough, enough for me to love, enough to love.”
- “I feel that I’m finally growing weary of waiting to be consumed by you. Give me the first taste let it begin heaven cannot wait forever. Darling, just start the chase I’ll let you win but you must make the endeavour.”
It’s raining outside what do you do?
- I’ll avoid going outside at all costs. I am afraid of thunder/lightening.
- I only go outside if necessary and then only with the appropriate gear.
- Rain doesn’t really bother me but whenever possible I’ll use an umbrella.
- I’ll stay inside but I love the sound of rain. I love watching it spill over panes of glass. I find it calming.
- Just a simple hoodie is enough for me.
- I’ll go out without any protective gear.
- I’ll go out and dance and/or play in the puddles.
- I’ll go out without any gear and run around like a crazy person.
Pick the pair that best suits you
What’s your hand-writing like?
- Small but precise
- Cursive, ornate
- Thick and empathetic I tend to write with pens or markers…if I write with a pencil I tend to retrace my letters
- Messy…I can barely read it
- I practically carve the letters into my desk
- Big and round
- Neat but rather plain
- Slanted and/or faint
Chose a beverage
- Just a nice refreshing glass of water for me thanks
- A cup of tea
- A glass of milk and don’t forget the cookies!
- Soda/Energy drink
- A glass of wine
- Black coffee
- Depends on my mood I would drink most of the items on this list
On human nature
- I believe humans are essentially good
- I believe that humans accumulate negative energy. The source of their misdeeds is not a matter of innate wickedness but a matter of pollution. I believe these impurities can be cleansed and the person restored to a state of health.
- I don’t believe in good and evil these are just social constructs.
- I believe in the healing and transformative powers of love.
- I believe that humans are misguided/confused
- I believe that some people are genuinely evil
- I believe that humans are a virus
- I believe in the pursuit of truth
Pick a Color
Select the statements that best apply to you
- I am logical and methodical
- I am musically inclined
- I am an objective and attentive listener
- I have a good imagination
- I have a strong interest in philosophy and/or I enjoy writing poetry
- I am not swayed by peer pressure. I know who I am and what I want.
- I am a good judge of character.
- My smile is contagious
I am writing your biography and here are a list of possible titles
- Painted Red: Memoirs of a Meticulous Evil
- Fiend: The Search for my Humanity
- Night Terrors: Inside the Carapace
- Dragonfly: Portrait of an Addled Mind
- A Recursive Delirium: A Planeswalker’s Guide to Purgatory
- The Migration of Water Lilies
- Elysium: Between Life and Death
- Satin’s Edge: Diary of a Coquette
What do you forget?
- Past Events
- Tasks (laundry, dishes, trash, bills)
- I have a very good memory
- I am very mindful so even if I do forget I tend to get up to speed pretty quickly
How are you in relationships?
- I am intense and obsessive. Once I’ve got my sights on a victim I am relentless.
- I spend a lot of time with my special someone. You could say we have our own private world.
- I spend more time admiring from afar than I do in actual relationships
- My relationships are passionate and often turbulent. I have trust issues.
- I am loyal and romantic. I love making handmade gifts and arranging surprises.
- A sense of humor is crucial. I want someone I can laugh with, someone I can be myself around.
- I want someone I can have intelligent conversations with. A relationship based on love, respect, and trust.
- I like to date and have a good time but I am not looking for anything too heavy. I haven’t even decided if I want to get married.
Choose the mind-state closest to your default
- Quiet longing
Paintings (I can’t post the picture in the comments hence having them here, on answering the quiz I will tell you which painting you got and give you a written profile besides)
Nightmare in Blue
Today I wanted to share some prompt sites with you. When I first started at WordPress I didn’t know anyone and prompts are a fun way to meet other talented writers and challenge your own ingenuity.
The Seeker’s Dungeon
We Write Poems
Imaginary Garden with Real Toads
Mad Kane’s Humor Blog
The Sunday Whirl
We Drink Because We’re Poets
Mindlovemisery (which is the prompt I host)
I know there are many others so please feel to share links =)
For today’s challenge we were asked to share an event
WePoets Show It
I participated in this for the first time earlier this month. I did an audio recording! My story “Edge” was presented on January 20th under my penname Yves K. Morrow. The site was recommended to me by Scottismomus
Sadly it looks like site will be closing but it is the only event I have participated in recently
Had I been able to fulfill Day 19’s assignment today’s challenge would’ve been pretty dull. As usual I am being very liberal in my interpretation of the prompt. On Day 19 I posted a TED talk that Sam had shared with me several days before. On Day 20th you learned that I am going through a very difficult time right now. Being rejected for a loan was the death of a dream. Our future now is uncertain. Rental apartments are expensive and the price of rentals is projected to escalate substantially. Size-wise we are looking at something very similar to our current apartment only we won’t have that bit of extra storage we have living with relatives. I am depressed, both of us are. At the moment everything feels so hopeless and I just kept bursting into tears knowing that I am the one dragging my family down.
On a positive note I did manage to get a change of Neurologists. I have not met with the new doctor yet so I cannot say anything other than I am grateful to have a fresh start. In 2 weeks I am supposed to receive an appointment hopefully it will be soon and I will have the chance to ask about Disability or advocacy/rehabilitative groups that can help me obtain work. I have an appointment in February with a psychologist and I will bring up this topic up for their consideration as well. I suppose my book could be a slamming success, don’t I wish! My book is giving meaning to my life just the same. I am pursuing a dream despite a series of crushing defeats. Aside from my immense love for my family it may be all that is keeping alive. When I am working on my book it is the only time I am not crying. It is the only time I feel a sense of pride and excitement.
Watching this video apart from making me cry really inspired me. Her optimism and willingness to accept personal responsibility was a real revelation for me. I see now where I may have went wrong with my former Neurologist. I hope to do things differently with the new doctor and I hope that in doing things differently something will give.
Today’s assignment was to add a new page to your blog which I have not done as you can see. When I finish with my first book I will add a new page for the book and any subsequent books I publish.
A huge portion of my life I have spent wrestling with the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” When I first began work with Vocational Rehabilitation for my disabilities it was not known that I had Epilepsy. At the age of 19 I was told that I couldn’t become anything when I grew up. I had no chance of graduating from college and as for gaining employment I could forget about it. I refused to accept their assessment. I went to college and though it took me a full 10 years to get my BA I managed and with a good GPA besides. Finding a job proved more difficult. Even though it is illegal, potential employers, do discriminate against persons with disabilities and without a lawyer or disability advocate they will not hire you. My mom had to pull some major strings just to get me a job at Burger King which I was younger. Yes I’ve even been rejected work in the fast food industry!
At this point I feel the only way for me to have a meaningful career is to work for myself. If a job does not exist then I have to create one. So I will become a writer. Writing is my passion, my love, my life. My books may not sell but I won’t know unless I try. I am also going to attempt to get on Disability. Sam was on Disability for a short time for Depression and he was given rehabilitative employment positions and though the pay was miniscule it gave him the chance to prove himself to prospective employers. He did prove himself and now he has a great job and receives full pay. I want my chance.
I cannot say what the case will be in my situation. I am not sure if I am eligible for assistance. Yes I have uncontrolled Epilepsy and yes I suffer with mental illness and learning disabilities but I do not know if that is enough. Sam had a job, albeit a terrible one, before getting on Disability whereas I have been unable to procure employment since we moved here. I am loath to admit weakness of this sort, I try my best to tough it out, suck it up but suffice to say I am not coping even in a remedial sense.
I don’t mean to be so gloomy but I am just so disappointed. Devastated, I am just so devastated. Sam and I can’t get a loan because we live on one income. The only way for us to get a loan, if I can’t get on Disability/find employment, is to earn 15% but we can’t save up that sort of money on only one income. A tiny rental place is nearly on par with the monthly fees of a house! I am overwhelmed and utterly crushed. I hold myself responsible for this situation. I am responsible for this situation there is no denying it and I have to find some way to get us out of it. I am entering into my seizure cycle at the moment which is just fabulous (sarcasm) because I have so much to get done.
I don’t see any evidence that my theme supports alternative formats. I have, however, used an alternative format before with a previous theme. For today’s post I am going to share a TED talk with you that inspired me so enjoy =)
Today we’re asked to link our blog with a social media site which I have done (I probably still have a bald spot :-P). The only social media site I am active with aside from WordPress is Twitter and to a much lesser degree Facebook. I use Twitter to promote other writers and my Facebook has more real world relations so I rarely share my poetry there. Sam thinks I should get Pinterest? so I can help him collect photos for furniture-making. I believe I am on other sites but I am not active with those sites. I find WordPress keeps me busy!
What’s up with that picture? The plan was to try and dress up to represent the Planescape Factions but I realize that would take a ton of work haha So here is one of them! I am not wearing lipstick, I do have naturally red lips, but this is a filter effect. Notice I have a red face as well haha What the devil is up with your hair? What indeed. I didn’t know what to do with it so I sat it on my head, yes literally sat it no safety pins or hair bands were used in the production of that wonky behive. No hair spray either it is just perched up their like a nest of dry twigs. I have a weird hair texture I can tie it together like dreads, stack it into a mental looking hat. Just weird weird hair. I tried to do a Sensate originally. They are depicted with a cute high ponytail but my hair does not flow it more fluffs and blobs. I had the perfect dress though. What I went for was a Doomguard but I don’t look even slightly menacing. Well maybe the left eye does lol
In addition to leaving comments I thought I would invite you to interact via a simple prompt.
Tell me a ghost story. Real life stories are preferential but fiction is great too =) I will comment on every story shared. If you don’t want to post your story to your blog feel free to leave it in the comments section otherwise add your link to Mister Linky.
As for my ghost story?
When staying overnight at my aunt’s house I heard a knocking sound and the voice of a small child pleading desperately for his mother. I was the youngest child in the house, my cousin was a teenager and I felt pretty confident that it wasn’t him (what self-respecting 16 year old boy would be caught dead crying for his mommy?). My room was next door to my aunt’s room so I peeped outside and nearly plain as day was a little blonde boy in a very simple dressing gown. I asked my aunt the next day if she had ghosts but gave her no specifics. Her response “So you heard him crying lastnight?” And then she told me about the little blond boy, apparently he kept her awake quite a lot. She had to get up and open her door to quiet him. He wasn’t a scary ghost but he was distressing just the same.