November 6 2013

Superstition_by_Saca

Art By: Saca from Deviant Art

 

I fear at times

That my passion

Is a tantric squall

A cataclysm

Preordained

By Nostradamus

Lips suffused

With the salt

Of a disquieting

Reverie

I wonder

If revision

Will render me

More luminous

Or if it will

Eclipse my muse

Entirely?

=

I have been very guarded lately. I am analyzing and second guessing and blocking my muse at every pass. I have started to get more superstitious. When I took Paxil for Depression I became extremely superstitious and when I got off of the drug it subsided but every now and then I go through spells. No I don’t believe people are out to get me. I don’t worry in the least that people might be talking about because even if they were I wouldn’t mind it. My surreptitiousness is a bit different from paranoia. I guess I am excessively worried about karma. I am worried about my words and deeds and the effect they might have on others. For a long time I was too withdrawn to realize that my actions affected others. I really didn’t start to understand that I mattered enough to have an impact on the outside world until I was an adult. Understanding that has improved my human relations a lot but alas now I worry myself sick about it.

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