October 27 2013


Genetic retribution. My mother’s most oft expressed wish was that I would have a child exactly like myself. She was clearly out for revenge. Then as now, I am inexplicable. I am also stubborn and not in the endearing way. I had a daughter and she is a lot like me. Had I a better childhood we might be even more indistinguishable then we are now. Our moods match up. We are always ravenously hungry. She is unbelievably unmanageably stubborn. She is also extraordinarily empathic and social which I might have been had I not been raised by mentally ill parents. Like me she has great balance but horrific coordination (my arms still go up after the ball has been thrown). Like me she can hyper-focus on a task. I have a 5 year old (almost 6) that can sit for four strait hours drawing. It is a little frightening when you see someone that young with that kind of obsessive interest. As a teenager I did not do drugs, have sex (until I was 18 with Sam), drink, sneak out, or any of the standard rebellious behaviors. In that respect I hope to God she is like me. I hope her stubbornness allows her to stand up to peer pressure just as mine did. She is not a perfect mirror as I said she is charismatic and girly. I was a tomboy. There is no way my little princess would stand around holding frogs and snakes as I happily did.


Today we celebrate her birthday (which is technically Wednesday). I am hoping that her classmates will show. I haven’t had any social interaction with the other parents in fact I wouldn’t even recognize them if they stood in front of me. I have only interacted with one of the dads. He has already confirmed that his son will be there but the others are a mystery. I grant you that I am anti social but in this case it is a matter of timing. I don’t work so I pick Isadora up early, while the other children stay longer in the after school program. In the mornings I never seem to arrive at the same time as the others except sometimes that one dad. The one parent I do know is sending his son with grandparents so I will be hanging out with strangers. Strangers who quite possibly don’t know English because her classmates are recent immigrants except one. So I imagine everyone is feeling nervous, except Isadora who has been begging me all morning to leave. She is dressed up as Rapunzel, Sam ordered her several princess costumes but this is the only one we’ve given her so far. She has been prancing around all morning, admiring herself in the mirror. Another way in which we are different as I hated were awkward and uncomfortable clothes. I still do which is why I can never seem to get out of my exercise clothes. Which is why I will attend the party in said exercise clothes so I do not focus so much on my clothes that I forget to talk out loud to others.


4 responses

  1. awww enjoyed reading this. Both my children are like me but in opposite ways. lol It is like they each took a half of me, some merge over. My son’s birthday is tomorrow so we both have wonderful October babies. 🙂
    I hope the party goes well, either way she will enjoy the event and her princess outfits.

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